The importance of Knowing your WHY

I am Raising a glass to all of my fellow business babes right now;  it sure takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears to just ~ Get After It, Get Over Yourself, and just Get Shit Done in preparation to better your business on a daily basis. Better your ‘baby’ I should say; because let’s be honest, it’s like you gave birth to that business. It will keep you up at night, all while you foster and nurture it to actually reap the fruits of your labor.  It takes weeks, months, even years to build; one brick, sometimes watching a few crumble and then building them back up again. This is a glimpse into my journey in business ~ Mandy

As I write this, I’m prepping for a big celebration, a milestone that I just reached in my business. It was years in the making, bumps in the road, but I wouldn’t have changed the timing for the world. So I’m reflecting right now; and I will tell you this, no matter when you reach pinnacles or special milestones in your business, the champagne will taste the same. And no matter how you got there, it will all boil down to this one thing, the one thing that made you take the leap of faith, to put yourself out there, dream big and just go for it- your WHY. Your purpose, your passion, that reason you get up in the morning and hit the ground running ~ after that magic cup of joe of course 🙂

So truth be told, your WHY should make you cry, and if your WHY doesn’t make you cry, it should make you WORK. A wise person told me this; and she was right on the money, right down to the last cent.

When I first dabbled in becoming an Entrepreneur, and I did not go to business school just so you know. I was trained in education, the field of teaching and that’s my background. I had a desire to create something for myself, something out of the norm because out of the norm worked for me. I started to figure out that I didn’t fit the mold anymore for being told what to do and when to do it. I wanted to create everything, right down to the last minute of my day. To create my own moments, my own experiences, I wanted to truly own my life, not somebody else owning it for me. During that time a friend of mine suggested I read this book as I started entrepreneurship. I didn’t really love reading back then, it was sometimes hard to fit it on my plate, but at the end of the day you make room on your plate for what’s important- let’s be honest here.  So, I trusted her recommendation and dove into this book.

I will tell you this, this book changed my life and it’s the book that I most often buy for friends, business partners, and people seeking change. In fact in the last 2 months, I have gifted this book 3x already.  Are you dying to know already?!  It’s Simon Sinek’s hit: “Start With Why.” If you haven’t heard of this book, order it right now. If you have this book but glazed over it, get serious about it and read it again.  If you have already gained some significance from it, pick it back up and highlight the crap out of it again and then make sure you pay it forward and pass this gem along to someone when you’re done.

I want to point out some “aha” moments that Simon gave me.  {I’m on a first name basis with him- Haha! I wish!} But I did have the privilege of sitting next to him at dinner a couple of years ago and we talked about his WHY.  I was in awe of him and how simple his words were but the impact was great.  They were simple because it wasn’t ground breaking really, it wasn’t rocket science, it just made a whole lot of sense.  So here’s the deal, many people think their WHY is supposed to be a goal; something that you attain or achieve. It’s not that at all, not even close.

Goals are WHAT’S, not WHY’S.  This is where business owners get caught up; they get stuck and can’t figure out how to continue to grow so they feel like quitting. All too often business owners do quit if they don’t have a solid WHY. 

The majority of business owners will start with the WHAT, because without a WHAT you don’t really have a business. But here’s the kicker, the WHAT should not drive the WHY, it’s the WHY that should drive the WHAT and the HOW. In fact, Simon loves to dissect this “Golden Circle” model in this book.

“The Golden Circle is an alternative perspective to existing assumptions about why some leaders and organizations have achieved such a disproportionate degree of influence.”~Simon Sinek

Truth be told, most companies or CEO’s of a business will start outside the circle with the WHAT first, then move onto the HOW and lastly, the WHY.  Most people or businesses are able to describe to someone WHAT their business is about and what service they offer – that is the easy part. And many people or businesses are also able to articulate their HOW- the process, which is necessary to accomplish the WHAT. When you talk about your HOW, you are describing how your business is unique, different, how it can be of service to someone. So just to be clear: we as business owners do not have a hard time explaining our WHAT or HOW, but we typically do have a hard time articulating the WHY behind what we do.

Your WHY can change as you grow and as your business grows, it can become more powerful in many different ways. Another wise person told me ‘life changes in 6 month increments’- well shit, isn’t that the truth. We all have seasons, shifts, life lessons and tests that can really throw us for a loop. I’m not saying all changes are negative, but whether it’s a plus or minus in your book, you need to revisit your WHY- it’s that necessary.  There’s a clear difference in being “good” and being “great” so if you feel yourself slipping, it’s time to revisit  your WHY. I had to revisit my WHY on many different occasions,  life has thrown some major curve balls my way, just like many of you. When you feel stagnant or stale, the purpose and passion of your WHY needs to be the light that shines through and forces you to move and get back to action. You want to feel a “call to action,” and if you don’t, it’s usually because you are not being honest with yourself; you are not digging deep enough.  Sometimes this lack of being honest with yourself is all about being transparent and vulnerable about your fears.

My WHY in the beginning of my journey in entrepreneurship was to get back a piece of me again. At the time I was a military spouse, running the daily circus and juggling it all: the house, the child, the daily to-do’s, and a new hobby I had started to love and flourish at, all on my own. I was fine doing it myself but something was still missing, there was a puzzle piece that had gone into hiding.  You know that puzzle piece that is under the bed or in the closet, it’s somewhere but you have to DIG for it to complete the rest of the puzzle. Professionally, I needed more and I knew I loved working with people, being part of a team, collaborating, teaching, educating. I just needed to do it on my own terms.  So with that being said, starting my own business appealed to ALL of my senses!

So let’s dig into our WHY together! 

Get out a piece of paper, a pen or your computer and let’s start! And remember this “If people don’t buy What you do, they buy WHY you do it.”  ~ That in itself will make an impact. {This may seem easy but it can take time to uncover your true WHY.  This is called “peeling back the onion.”}

First Example:

1. Write down Why you started your business. (Example: “I want more freedom with my time”)
2. Write down Why you want more freedom of time  (Example: “I am tired of being on the hamster wheel of my corporate career and at the beck and call of somebody else’s agenda)
3. Ask yourself Why again. (Example: “Why am I tired of being on the hamster wheel??” – “I never have a say in my schedule and I am missing out on some important family events, and I don’t see my kids as much as I would like.”)
4. Ask yourself again, Why? (Example: “Why is seeing the kids more important?” – My oldest child asked me why I couldn’t attend her soccer games very much and that question tore me up. It reminded me of the fact that my parents were not that involved in my activities as a child and that’s painful)

In this example: You are saying your WHY is to be available for your children.

Note~ Once you get to this point in the process it may also be helpful to ask: What would it mean if you don’t obtain this Why? (Example: The relationship with my children may be strained and I can’t get that time back with them. I don’t want my children to feel the way I did growing up, I didn’t feel very important most of the time.)  So as you can see, the shallow part of the WHY in the beginning totally shifted as this person became more honest with herself and began to peel back the layers of her WHY.

Second Example:

1. Write down Why you started your business. (Example: “I need to make more money”)
2. Write down Why you had to make more money ( Example: “My family has too much debt and we needed to chip away at it in a more timely manner”)
3. Ask yourself Why again.  (Example: “Why do I need to extinguish the debt?” – “I quit my job and my husband has taken on all the burden of all the finances.”)
4. Ask yourself again, Why? (Example: “Why is sharing the burden of the finances important?” – “His health is suffering because of all the stress. We need to balance out the responsibility and I want this passion of mine to flourish into a business.”)

In this example: You are saying that your WHY is to be equal in your household with carrying the weight of the finances so the stress doesn’t affect your husband’s health. In addition you love photography and you know you can grow a business around this passion of yours, so if you are going to work you want to do something that you love.  As you can see, once you peel back the layers there’s always more to a WHY than just “making money.”

Note~ Most people will stop at the very first question of why and it can really just scathe the surface of what your business really means to you. Remember your WHY should make you cry~ if it doesn’t, it should make you “Work.” Use these examples as your guide as you get honest with yourself and remember~ keep digging and keep asking WHY! 

An example of how my WHY has changed and evolved over the years- I went from a married women with 1 child to a single mom of two children in a 4 year time period. You might be understanding where I’m going with this. Sometimes circumstances in your life can and will evolve your WHY.  I found myself going from a SAHM {Stay at home Mom} to the sole provider in a short period of time. This is why My WHY is strong, it’s unbreakable, and it certainly makes me cry and it definitely makes me work. My WHY went from being about me and what I needed to grow as a person to being about my kiddos and surviving as a single mom. My WHY has been solidified with the need to provide for my children in a single income home. Being an entrepreneur allows me the flexibility I need for my kids; it enables me to be present, to take them to school, pick them up, to walk to the park with them in the afternoon, and maybe grab ice cream afterwards if we feel the sugar urge.

As a business owner it’s important to take time to write this all down and make it concrete. Concrete can be scary because there is a certain type of vulnerability that goes along with it but I encourage you to thoughtfully ask yourself these questions and DIG deep until you get to the core of your WHY. So with that being said, not only do I encourage you to find your WHY, but I encourage and challenge you to ask others their WHY as well, because “finding” it is truly a gift.