Dr. Gary Chapman is known around the world for his best-selling book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. It has become so wildly popular because the concepts are simple to understand and yet profound and life-changing when applied. Most people already know their dominant Love Language (Gifts, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service), but it usually ends there. It’s not enough to just know your language, we have to understand it and communicate it to others.
Think about it, what does that Love Language actually mean to you? How does it translate to your every day life? What are the things you most appreciate and desperately need? And does anyone know any of this? Take the time to tell others what you really need to feel loved, go beyond “My language is words of affirmation” to “My language is words of affirmation and the most meaningful thing to hear is that you see how hard I work and that you think I’m a great parent. In fact, I don’t really need an “I love you” everyday, the other stuff is way more important.” Take all the guess work out for your partner and family. Be specific! Remember, most of the time they’re learning a whole new language so they need more than just the language, they need all the answers! And why not? If they have the answers to the test, we all win!
Here are a few ways to receive the love you’re dying for:
Take the 5 Love Languages quiz. Even if you have taken the quiz before, retest! Your Love Language is not static. Life happens and your Love Language will change, especially after a big transition (Ie. new job, new child, a move). Retest at least once a year by clicking here. Make sure to put in your email so you can keep a copy of your results.
Grab a paper and write out your Love Language Cheat Sheet. Write down 3-5 of the most impactful ways those around you could show you love. Think of things that are realistic, inexpensive, and not intimidating. Once you complete your list, share it with your partner. Explain why these things are meaningful to you. For example, if Physical Touch is your Love Language, your cheat sheet may include 1) a kiss every morning, 2) a hug when I walk in the door, 3) PDA.
Sign up for Dr. Chapman’s newsletter from this site (in the top right corner). This thing is full of gems! Each week you will get new ideas to try for each Love Language so if you’re really stuck, let the answers come to you! You will be sure to find something that you are willing to try for your children or your partner.